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Literature by 96DarkAngel


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Submitted on
September 7, 2011
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Human error.
Five more cuts.
They won't show, and they will fade.
It's nothing. It's nothing.
It makes me feel normal.
I need punishment for every time I mess up.
Don't worry I won't die.

"I wish she would keep better track of things" one more cut.
"She is a freak" two more cuts.
"You don't care about anything do you?!" three cuts.
Some say it hurt.
Some say it's nothing.

Sure I thought I could talk to her about it, but now my only true friend is drifting.
She knew every thing about me, cutting, crying, depression, and so on. But, as I see her go.
Now we just say simple Hello's.
It's time she stopped dealing with me.
She has her own problems.

So what's five more cuts?
It just adds to the many.

Though there be fear with the cutting.
After this feeling of release, there comes fear.
'What if I can't stop?'
'What if they find out?'
'What if I kill myself?'

My wrist is throbbing now.
It wants the knife, it wants the blood.
I need help.
It's not the cat anymore.
It never was.

The voices tell me not to stop.
I am going insane.
But I can't say this to you.
Please get me help.

She isn't enough.
The 'talking' you call it.
I can just stab myself with a pencil
Or break open a light bulb.

I want death to myself.
I want end.
It's all my mind is caught on.

Although I know your trying.
I need more help.
I need…help.

I've misplaced my razor, and I need something sharp.

Addicted to cutting.
I can inflict pain in ways that won't show.
I thought it was over.
I thought it was gone.

It's not stopping.
It's never stopping.
Let's face it, this is about my past. I don't know if someday I will start cutting again, if it will be worse or not. I don't know.
I used to cut all the time, and now... it's never gonna fade away.
+++++++++++++++++++
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:iconwaterpanda666:
WaterPanda666 Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
After reading through this I truly fell in love with it. It's rather a amazing piece of work and something which I can relate too. I also use to cut though I can not say my case was to the degree you described. I do not know of your hardship but I do want to say your poem is both stunning and something which I could relate maybe it's why I love it so much. As a fellow poet I wish to say you have a talent don't let it fade ^^.
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:iconzaiav:
Zaiav Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Oh my gosh~! Thank you so much! It means a ton!
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:iconwaterpanda666:
WaterPanda666 Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Your welcome ^^ i meant each word as I said it's something which I can relate and it's truly no problem you deserve the praise in my opinion~
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:iconzaiav:
Zaiav Featured By Owner May 3, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you so much!
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:iconyuki-crosszeria:
Yuki-Crosszeria Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2013
I know the feeling, I've felt the same way.
In fact I still get the feeling sometimes...I felt it today... :(
It's like my friend doesn't care and this is the only escape.
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:iconzaiav:
Zaiav Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
I know it's tough, I struggled with it for years now. But really your friends do care, just try talking to them. Sometimes they just may not understand your feelings and its hard for them to say anything because they don't understand. But don't give up, never ever give up, keep trying. And even if you fail don't beat yourself up about it, just keep smiling and say "i'll be better next time" don't let depression or sadness hold onto you! And most importantly SMILE!
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:iconyuki-crosszeria:
Yuki-Crosszeria Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2013
Thanks, I'll keep that in mind next time I feel down.

It's nice to know someone knows what I feel and is willing to talk about it. :)
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:iconzaiav:
Zaiav Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
I will always be there when people need it! :)
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:iconyuki-crosszeria:
Yuki-Crosszeria Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2013
Thanks, it's nice to hear that.
Reply
:icondarija9:
Darija9 Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013
This one is very powerful. And truthful.
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